Why do I fly?

The Rock

2007-02-18T23:48:00.000+04:00

This world was created out of nothing. Often times we marvel at the splendor of nature. You look out into the heavens and watch the stars sparkle so brightly and so far out of reach. You hike the forests and climb the mountains looking for untouched, unspoiled, unadultered nature to calm and soothe us from the hustle and bustle of the lives we lead. We watch the clouds in the sky, the waves crashing on the shore, the birds in flight, the sunrise and the sunset, the colors of the flowers, the scent of the air after rainfall. God is an artist, a magnificent creator of all that is beauty in aesthetics and in essence.

Lord, you've created everything with such splendor and magnificence and such simplicity and grace. Everything has been created the way it was meant to be. Though we say nothing is perfect, everything is as it is meant to be, "perfectly flawed".

In all of creation's enormity and in all our endeavors to explore the gifts of God we often overlook the simple rock. The rock is probably among the most amazing creations of God, if not the single most amazing. The rock comes in infinite shapes and sizes and has infinitely more uses.

Rocks are everywhere...from the simple grains of sand on the shore to the tallest mountains in the world in the Himalayas. Rocks do everything for us. The little grains of sand, very soft, you lay on them and you feel such comfort. In the heat you can sit in the shade of a massive boulder, it'll protect you from the sun and give you shade. The rocks we use to build shelter, bricks and gravel mixed with the cement, to give strength to the structures that shield us from all the elements. The rock you sit on to rest when your tired. The rocks you skip across the water for fun. The pebble that's in your shoe that bothers you, telling you something is wrong. The rock you look at because of how beautiful and incredible it is. The rock you lean on for support.

Jesus is my rock. Jesus comforts me. Jesus shelters me. Jesus rejuvenates me, He revives me. Jesus makes me happy. Jesus guides me and directs me. Jesus is my light, my salvation, the beauty of my life. Jesus is my rock.

'For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but My steadfast love shall not depart from you, and My covenant of peace shall not be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you' Isaiah 54:10

Thank you for letting me know that.

Dear God,

2007-02-13T09:43:00.000+04:00

Dear God,

It's been a while since I've asked you how you've been, I'm sorry for my selfishness, when we talk its always about me. How are you? I know you've seen a lot of disappointment from my end, but I know you've looked past that because of your loving kindness and mercy. You know I try. I feel small saying that, almost as if its an excuse because I know that no matter how hard I try, I can always do better. My efforts aren't shallow, they're honest and deep, you know that God, but you know that they are far and few. I don't ever mean to disappoint you. Please forgive me.

Lord, I'm weak. You and I are constantly together, many many times I've felt your presence and seen your work in my life. Yet for some reason I still get scared, I lose hope, I lose faith, I get mad and upset, I let my emotions push my mind into thinking I'm alone and it hurts. A lot of things hurt. When I come to you, you take the hurt away, and for some reason when the hurt is gone, I find myself going down the same road again till I hurt. God I don't want to hurt, I don't want to feel weak. I know you're with me all the time, why do I lose myself this way? Is my faith weak? Please help me to strengthen it, please help me to cling to you, please don't let go of me even if for some reason I let go. Please God.

I don't know what to say God, you know what's inside me and I can't even put it into words. If I tried it would just be a long list of emotions that went on forever. Everything from fear, being lost, confusion, pain, alone-ness, loneliness to the complete opposite of peace, safe, serene, hopeful...so many things all inside me and they contradict each other and distress me, I can't explain it but you know it all.

I know you've blessed me with so many blessings and I've grown to take them for granted. I'm sorry, I just become blinded by negativity and darkness, I need you to be my light. Its not that I am ungrateful, but I get caught up in every little thing in my life and I forget that you're there to take care of me.

God I'm so sorry, I squander and waste all the gifts you've given me. I don't know what to do God. You know inside me I try hard. Please God, don't let me go, you've promised. I want to continue feeling you and seeing you more and more in my life. I want to know that you're my father and my best friend, I need you all the time for everything. I truly do. I really miss you.

Love,

fady

Mission Objectives (Chp 8)

2006-12-20T12:42:00.000+04:00

Just as was everything was created by God, everything on this earth is dedicated to God. Including us. Or at least that's how it should be.

The last chapter discussed how the reason for everything was to glorify God and how to glorify Him. This chapter introduced out first purpose. God's pleasure. We were made to please the Lord; in other words to worship Him.

I came across an interesting cultural difference while reading this chapter. Clearly this book was intended for a North American audience and apparently the common understanding, or misunderstanding, of the word worship there is music and singing. As far as my understanding goes, to me, worship meant traditional church practices and services. I'm also quite mistaken. Anything you do that brings pleasure to God is called worship and therefore it becomes a lifestyle; the way your life is lived, not just part of your day before you go to bed.

Realizing that worship is a lifestyle of bringing pleasure to God reveals that worship isn't actually for us, it is for the Lord. When we understand this we can approach worship as a giving of ourselves to please God rather than a taking to please ourselves. Of course through worship we gain a lot personally and there are a lot of benefits, but the intention is to please God.

Our church (Orthodox, more specifically Coptic Orthodox) is very rich in its traditions, rituals and practices. But often, and I've heard this a lot and its been said and discussed many times over, we get so caught up in the routine of these rituals that we forget their meaning, we do them like chores with your mind wandering elsewhere. The ritual lacks heart and commitment and becomes meaningless and we need to wake up ourselves and be aware that this isn't the way to please God, by thinking about something else while we automatically spew "prayers". We need to build a lifestyle where God is the essence and His pleasure is our goal.

This lifestyle will stem from one small thought. Last chapter we said that to glorify God we need to act in a manner that Jesus would have were He in our position. Today we learn that if we want to create a lifestyle of worship then everything we must do, it must be as if it's done for Jesus and not just done for Him but while communicating with Him constantly through it all. Its a relationship. A very illustrative example given is when you truly love someone, they become everything on your mind, you hear their voice, see their face, talk to them in your head and they reply to you, you see them in everything, you think about them wherever you go and in whatever you do. That's the lifestyle and relationship we want to build with God, we want to fall in love with Jesus, that's how we will be able to worship Him in every moment of our lives and in everything we do.

May God fill our lives with His presence and make us aware of it in a way where we can't help but reach out to Him and talk to Him and think of Him all the time. Amen.

Why? (Chp 7)

2006-11-21T16:15:00.000+04:00

While this book is supposed help us find what we're here for, what our purpose on earth is, oddly enough this chapter touches on the subject of why things happen. We all know and say "things happen for a reason." What is this reason? Why do the little things happen? Why do the big things happen? We've said that life's obstacles are a test or a trust, but even then, why a test or a trust?

The answer, which I was completely unaware of and did not expect and did not ever consider in any of my actions throughout my life, is to bring glory to and to glorify God. Wow! My tests, my trusts, if I handle them the way God wants me to, I bring glory to God. That means, every moment is an opportunity to bring glory to God, and that's just one way to bring Him glory.

There are 5 ways to glorify God in our lives according to the chapter:

1) by worshipping Him
2) by loving other believers
3) by becoming like Christ
4) by serving others with our gifts
5) by telling others about Him

In worshipping Him, it commands a lifestyle of worship, not just prayer out of habit, its enjoying God, loving God and submitting to be used for His purposes. Prayers, rituals and habit play small part of worship, worshiping comes from the heart, and the Lord looks at the heart.

I have a small problem with the second point, I believe that we're commanded to love everyone, not just believers, Jesus commanded us to love our enemies, even those who crucified Him He loved. If we glorify God by becoming like Jesus then we are to glorify God by loving everyone as Jesus did, not only believers. Both loving others and becoming like Jesus are part of our tests in life. Tests give us the chance to ask ourselves the famous cliche "What would Jesus do?" and whatever it was that Jesus would do, He would do it with endless compassionate love.

God gave us all gifts, our trusts, and He wants us to use those to their full potential. Not for our own benefit and glory, but for His and for serving others. Again, this trust of serving others with our gifts ties in closely with becoming like Christ because Jesus spent His life in service of God and of others, even down to washing His disciples feet. There are countless ways to serve others with our gifts from teaching Sunday school or preaching to driving people to and from church services and activities to simply having a friendly ear for someone to turn to in their times of need. Whatever the nature of service, it glorifies God, even if you don't see what you do as a service, God sees it.

Word of mouth, one of the most successful marketing techniques there is, so why not use word of mouth to glorify the Lord? Tell others of His magnificence, of His power, His mercy and grace and most importantly His love. Reach out to people, a lot will turn away, but if one finds the Lord, you are blessed and God has been glorified. Telling others about God doesn't mean going door to door asking "Have you found Jesus?" Its your lifestyle, its part of your worship, its the way you live. People will see you and your actions and hear what you say, all this glorifies God and if its part of your lifestyle, people will ask you about God and about Christ and you can reach out to them.

One of my friends logged on to an instant messaging program and initiated a conversation saying, there are too many people on my contact list with a religious quote or saying for their nickname. Then he asked me if he was that religious to be surrounded by these people. I replied to him asking "Does it bother you that the Lord has reached into your life and surrounded you by people trying to spread His word?" There is nothing wrong with reaching out to others, and there is nothing wrong in being rejected when you do. Jesus himself spent His life telling others about God and was rejected and crucified for it. If you make a difference in one life, if you help one God's sheep return to His flock, the Good Shepherd has your reward for you in heaven.

The book named 5 ways in which to glorify God, I want to boil it down to one. You can glorify God by becoming like Christ. When you strive to become like Jesus worship becomes a lifestyle, love is in everything you do and its there for everyone, you serve others by giving of yourself and of your gifts and you tell others about the word of God. Live your life like Jesus to bring glory to God. That's the reason for everything; God's glory.

There's no place like home...(Chp 6)

2006-11-16T16:32:00.000+04:00

I've lived in 6 countries, I hold 2 passports, never really assimilated to a culture and I don't know where home is. Its not a nice feeling to not be able to call somewhere home.

Growing up abroad, away from your country of nationality, you always know that in the back of your mind that this will never be home, you'll always be just a resident on a permit or at best a second class citizen looked down upon. And one day you'll have to go home.

A lot of people I know have experienced this feeling, though maybe not to an extreme that I've felt it, but eventually, they find a place to call home. They say home is where the heart is. If that's the case then home is hardly ever where I am. My heart is with my family, with my loved ones, and most importantly, my heart is God's.

What this actually means is, as Chp 6 says, I will never feel completely satisfied on Earth because its not home. Earth is temporary, we all die. However, death isn't the end of the line, it's the start of the journey home. The thing is, what you do on earth determines whether your journey after death will take you home or not.

What really surprised me and is important to understand is that our mission on Earth isn't the pursuit of happiness, its the pursuit of establishing ever ounce of faith we have in our Lord and God, Jesus Christ. Faith is your ticket home when our lives on this Earth are behind us and the journey to eternity begins.

Faith guarantees your ticket home, but it doesn't guarantee success in this world, and that's where the struggle arises. Your faith may be as solid as a rock, yet life may not be rewarding in the least, and you look around you and you see others, (Forgive us for judging God), but you see others weak in their faith or people who don't believe altogether leading rewarding lives, having successful careers and living very happily and comfortably. That's your test, to keep your faith despite all these worldly temptations. Warren writes that millions of faithful people have been martyred, have lost everything, or have come to the end of life with nothing to show for it.

Worldly wealth isn't a sign of ones faith. However, a sure sign of one's faith, despite all the Earthly trials and tribulations one might experience, is the feeling of inner peace and the knowledge that despite everything, God is there and looking out for you and keeping track of every little detail and making a note of it for your heavenly reward. Remembering that this world ends, knowing that it's not home, and that you will go home in the end helps you keep that faith. God bless you and may He plant the seed of faith in you and nurture it until its in full bloom.

Life is a...(Chp 5)

2006-11-08T23:03:00.000+04:00

This chapter asks you how you see your life? For me the first word that comes to mind is Revolution. I see life as a Revolution. Or more correctly, a series of Revolutions. I see my progression in life, my own personal internal growth as happening in bursts. A small explosion inside invokes a drastic change that takes a hold of me. That's my little Revolution. And then after that is a long period of calm and then I feel like the status quo has been maintained too long and that prompts another internal explosion, another Revolution. This isn't a conscious progression, this is just how I see my life happening. In fact, I may be completely wrong. Either way its totally irrelevant.

Life is a test and a trust and temporary assignment according to this chapter and according to the Bible. This chapter is only on the test and trust bit. Both facts are pretty straight forward, and easily comprehended. The importance of it isn't in the understanding, but in fact, its in the implementing. Its not enough to know that life is a test and a trust. Life has to be lived as a test and a trust. Every moment you live is a test or trust, sometimes both. Everything we're given form talents and intelligence to health and fitness to time is all a trust. Gifts, if you will, from God to utilize in the best possible manner. Personally, I've wasted a lot of God's gifts and I have not been faithful with what He has entrusted me with. I regret it. But my next second is another gift, I will not waste it on regret, I will make the best of it because what you do with what is entrusted to you, is a test in itself.

The chapter says that nothing is insignificant, everything is a test, even the smallest of incidents. Major tests in life can be significant changes, delayed promises, unanswered prayers, impossible problems, undeserved criticism and even senseless tragedies. But the biggest test is how you act when you can't feel God's presence in your life.

There are 2 points I'd like to make from my own personal understanding. First, I don't think God leaves prayers unanswered. Though we may often not hear Him or comprehend His answer, it does not mean He didn't answer. Sometimes His silence may be an answer. Sometimes the answer is there and we cannot see it because its not the answer we want or its not the right time for us to see the answer. Whatever it may be, I'm convinced that God always answers, sometimes on His own timing, but He always answers. My second point is something I cannot fathom. I can understand that we sometimes fail to feel God's presence in our life maybe because of lack of faith or a preoccupation with something of this world, but the chapter sites 2 Chronicles 32:31 as saying that sometimes God steps back from us to test what we would do without Him. I cannot see that as possible, not with the way God loves us and not with the promises He's made to us. He's promised never to give us a test we cant handle and all our strength and guidance comes form Him, so how can He possibly let us go? I cannot understand it, this feeling I have inside me because of Him tells me He will never let me go, so how then can He step back.

Lord never let us go, we are you lambs, you are our shepherd, you would not leave us to wander and get lost. Please hold us close and guide our every move. Never take your eyes off us. Have mercy on us. Amen.

An everlasting promise...

2006-11-08T22:44:00.000+04:00

I haven't been here recently. I haven't been reading like I want to and I haven't been writing like I said I would. I got caught up with this world, things swept me away. School, my friends, my laziness...all really just excuses.

And though I feel really bad about all of it, inside I jump for joy. I'm jumping for joy, not at my own lack of discipline or my inability to help myself grow, I'm overjoyed by the realization of a small promise that weighs more in our lives than can ever be comprehended.

I've been away from here for one month, and in that month, one thing has stayed the same, in fact, its been the same for the last 25 of my years. As far as I know, its been the same for over 2000 years.

God's word has been consistent, His promises have been fulfilled, His heart has been open, forgiving and merciful for the last 2000 years. Its an incredible promise, that no matter what happens, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, He will be right where He says He is, He will keep all the promises He's made to you and He will always have open arms awaiting you. No matter if you deny Him, if you lose touch with Him, walk away and forget Him, He's waiting for you. Until the instant your soul leaves your body, you have every chance to find your way to Him and He will never turn you away.

It is His love for us that makes Him wait so patiently for us to let go of our lives and submit to Him. It is His amazing, everlasting, pure, fulfilling love that is His promise to all of us. It is that love that hasn't changed in the month I walked away. It is that promise of forgiveness, of mercy, of always being there despite what we say and do that has brought me back here. It is for that promise that I jump for joy. For the fact that because of God's love, its never too late.

God bless you all to feel His love. +

Tip of the iceberg... (Chp 4)

2006-09-27T04:31:00.000+04:00

I've found that there are mainly three types of people in this world. There are big picture people, people who step back and see what effect this little puzzle piece has in the overall picture, sometimes missing the detail in the piece. There are here and now people, people who get so involved in finding the place of the one little puzzle piece that they focus on a detail in the picture and forget the big picture. The third kind of people are the in betweeners, those who choose which view best suits the moment or the situation. I don't know which of these three perspectives is better or which is more effective in life or which is what God wants.

I do know that what we do here and now, the little details all inclusive, will show up later as part of the big picture, our lifetime, our preparation for the afterlife. And the details will be there as will the whole picture, we can't pick and choose. So whatever your outlook is on life, its probably incomplete. We fail to see that the little details affect the big picture. We cant ignore the little things and say look at the big picture and we cant ignore the big picture and say look at the details of the here and now, and most certainly picking and choosing what best suits the moment is like running away from the reality of things.

The reality is this world is finite, everything in it has an end; living or inanimate, it will all be destroyed at some point in time. However, while our bodies will perish our souls will join our Father in heaven or be damned to hell, based on what we do with the here and now. We have an eternal life that awaits us, we don't even have to earn it, its been paid for when Jesus' blood was unjustly spilled on the cross. All we have to do is believe that Jesus died for our sins and act on that belief. You don't pig out on dinner when u know your favorite dessert is coming up. We do not indulge our bodies and minds in everything they want from this life, because in doing so, we will surely not be having any dessert, our afterlife in heaven.

This life is described as the tip of the iceberg. While what we get in life may be great and fun and entertaining, what we don't see at this point is our eternal lives with our Father, the bit of the iceberg underwater. IT'S MASSIVE!!! There is no comparing this life with the our afterlife, don't let the chance to feel such intense love and joy be lost. Every instant we have in life is an opportunity for the afterlife. Every instant.

At the bus stop... (Chp 3)

2006-09-19T21:37:00.000+04:00

This chapter, like the others, states the obvious. Or at least what I feel is the obvious. Unfortunately, we live our lives such that if the obvious isn't stated, its never noticed or realized. And that's the case with the points in this chapter.

I can understand how having the obvious stated puts things into a newer perspective and makes understanding our approach to life a completely different exercise. But understanding what drives us is not an easy task. Personally, I cannot identify what it is that drives me. I feel as if I'm waiting to be driven. We are supposed to be driven towards a goal with a purpose. I've approached life differently, I feel like I've completely let go and I'm hoping and praying God drives me in the direction I'm supposed to be, but from what I understand, we have to be proactive, we have to be driven to fulfill our purpose. I don't feel like I'm driven by guilt or fear or need of approval or materialism or anger. I don't feel driven. I feel like I've stopped and I'm hoping the ride is over.

I'm feeling a need, a need to be with God, a need to have Him in my life. That need drives me to read and write and try to understand and hear His message for me. Is that the kind of drive that's meant? I don't think so, I think the drive you have when you're fulfilling your purpose is a much stronger drive. What scares me is that it appears that most people wander through life without a purpose. Most people die having lived incomplete lives. It scares me to think that I may be one of those people.

Please God let me see your light, let me hear your voice, let your love fill my heart, let my life be guided by you in every step of the way. I need you God. I love you God. Amen.

Some things you just know...

2006-09-19T20:38:00.000+04:00

This post isn't about or related to my readings in The Purpose Driven Life, but its about my spiritual journey so I feel it is appropriate here.

There are many things that we go through in life that we don't fully comprehend or understand the magnitude of until later in our lives. We may also go through things several times before it strikes a chord and makes sense or we can relate or understand.

I read my bible. But its always very difficult to read my bible alone, because it always feels like a story you read at night. There are several ways to read something; you can read just to get the story, you read quickly and move on, another way to read is a more academic approach where you study more than you read, u take apart every bit and analyze it, also another way to read, is to read in search of something, like an answer to a question.

I've found that when I read the bible, I should read it in search of an answer to a question, and the question is, 'What is God telling me about how to live my life?' This may not be a right approach, this may not work other people, but I find it brings meaning to what I read and it makes it understandable in a way that I can apply.

Most recently, I was looking to read about God's will and using my bibles resources I found myself at Matthew 26. It is when God has the last supper and prophesies His betrayal, when He goes to pray and when He gets arrested. Its a chapter I've read many times before. When I read it this time, I was moved, I was deeply saddened, to an extent I cannot describe. I felt hurt inside and very very sad. I will not get into the details of my thoughts and emotions except to say I had never been moved by the bible this way.

The next day I chose to continue and I read Matthew 27. This time I was not only moved, I was shaken, and violently. My sadness at the treatment of Jesus and His crucifixion I cannot explain. I had always believed that Jesus was meant to be crucified and that it was a happy occasion for us as Christians, but the sadness and sorrow and pain I felt made me understand, for the first time, the sadness and the sorrow and the pain that our church expresses during the holy week before Easter Sunday.

I find that if you ask God, He answers.

Make no mistake...(Chp 2)

2006-09-13T22:16:00.000+04:00

A constant question on my mind is 'Why me?' Whether its the life shattering loss of a loved one or the simple annoyance of a shoelace being untied. Sometimes it's easier to understand the big things. I find myself wondering more and more, why the little things happen. The little things that shouldn't be making a difference in life, like spilling something on your shirt or getting a flat tire...why does that happen?

Chapter 2 discusses the fact of our existence being a planned precise calculation for God's purpose. God doesn't make mistakes, we're all here because we are all supposed to be here. God made us all differently, each one of us molded with love more powerful anything the imagination can fathom. Each of us God hand crafted to serve a specific one of His purposes.

I'd like to carry the concept a little further. Not only is each one of us created intentionally down to the very last detail to serve a purpose, but also, everything that happens, happens to serve a significant and important purpose as well. The untied shoelace serves a purpose, the fly that lands in your soup lands there for a reason. It seems a little extreme, but just as with a diamond where the slightest flaw brings down its value, we as Gods children are all diamonds in the rough and God works out all the flaws in his own ways to allow us to shine brightly as perfect diamonds after we're cut and polished.

God doesn't make mistakes, make no mistake about it.

It's me, but I can't get myself to go away. (Chp 1)

2006-09-13T17:14:00.000+04:00

It's not about you. The first sentence of the first chapter. Ordinarily it would be a simple concept to accept; it's not about you. Also note that you'd think a book about finding a purpose in life would be concerned with everything that is YOU! In this case neither is correct. Its not a simple concept and purpose, apparently, is not concerned with you, but more concerned with Him. The two concepts go hand in hand but they clash with what we understand as purpose. It is not about me, it is about God and therefore, it is not about my purpose, its about His purpose. The internal conflict arises, and the real difficulty stems from relating His purpose with your purpose. Human nature lends us to be habitually selfish, we aspire to get ahead and be the best. Even when our goal is noble, we do it for personal satisfaction, for personal gain or both. What is asked of us here, is to look beyond ourselves, open our hearts and trust in the Lord's purpose for us. We are asked to fulfill his purpose. We don't see our personal gain or satisfaction in that; human nature sees no immediate benefit in serving someone else's purpose. What we don't see is that in fulfilling His purpose, in walking hand in hand with God, in doing what God directs us to do, we do fulfill our purpose. When you walk with God, when you serve Him, He fills you with a joy that no good deed or act in this world will make you feel. When you sacrifice your life for His purpose, you gain so much more than what it cost you. It's blind faith, honest hope, and pure love of God.

I ask God to help me let go of everything that is selfish in me, help me let go of all my worldly goals, help me let go of my desires and give me an open heart and the understanding and the ability to give myself to you to serve your purpose. Amen.

Why do I fly?

2006-09-13T00:16:00.001+04:00

Of the many times in my life where I have asked myself such questions as: "What do I want to do with my life?", "What is the meaning of life?", "Why am I here?", "If we're all going to die, then what's the point?"; and many other similar questions, I've never been able to give myself a satisfactory answer. Only recently did I learn to open my heart to God and listen for His voice. Only recently did I learn what it means to hear God's voice. God's reached out to me many a time, and many a time I rejected or ignored. He has reached out to me again and I feel I am ready to listen to everything He has to say. After several attempts and rejections, the book "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren has found its way to me again, and this time I'm prepared to try and learn what it is God wants me to do. This blog is a personal attempt to reflect on the book as well as my thoughts and feelings and experiences with God in general. This blog is open to all who wish to accompany me on my journey, may it be a blessed one.